Episode 42 – An Introduction to Emotional Development PART 1

Raising children is not only a fulfilling and rewarding experience in itself but also one that is quite challenging – especially when we see our kids having temper tantrums, mood swings, and getting upset over the smallest things. Sometimes these situations can leave us feeling frustrated, guilty, and shameful when we don’t handle them well. We wish our child would just remain calm all the time and respond positively in the face of disappointing situations, but could that even be possible? Fortunately, our guest knows a thing or two on how to regulate our child’s emotions and regulating our own emotions as parents as well. In this Chat with Children episode, our guest introduces us to the topic of emotional development, why it is so important, and how we can help our children develop this valuable skill throughout life (without becoming an emotional mess).

Julia Pappas is a psychologist and parent coach. She has over 15 years of experience working with parents and their children and has particular expertise in child development, behavior regulation, and learning needs. Julia believes in the power of parents to change the world by being the best resource, inspiration, and support they can be to their children. She empowers parents to own their mission, to discover limiting beliefs and parenting blocks and she helps develop essential skills so that parents can have the most fulfilling years of their life while raising children.

Key Learnings

Tune in to our conversation and learn:

• What led Julia to work with parents while working with children
• How we define emotions and the four core emotions she wants all parents to understand
• Why do we even need emotions?
• How communication, social and emotional development are so intricately linked
• How social-emotional development develops from birth to toddler years to up until our child enters school
• The three pillars of appropriate emotional development
• What has self-awareness got to do with being emotionally mature
• What may cause delays in emotional development
• What emotional regulation is all about and how it is learned by children
• Creating space and holding our child’s emotions for them
• How to deal with guilt when we are not able to regulate our own emotions

Tips on how to respond to our child having a tantrum:

1. Make sure we are ready. Show up fully regulated ourselves. Recognize that the tantrum is an escalation of our child’s emotions because their need was not met. Assess whether this is a one-off tantrum or a pattern that is developing.
2. Help your child calm down by creating space and holding the child’s emotions for them. Get them to do so whether they respond to touch, simply being around them, or speaking to them in a soothing voice and with very few words.
3. Once our child hears us, let them know that they are okay. We do not need to explain to them what they felt or experienced. Just let them know they are okay.
4. Once they calm down, engage with the child and problem-solve together to figure out what they need.
5. Remember that there is nothing to do during the tantrum other than making sure the child feels safe – both physically and emotionally.

Quotes

“You, as a parent, are okay, your needs as a parent are okay, and your emotions are okay. Do what you need to do to really feel that and acknowledge that for yourselves.”

Links

• Julia’s website – https://juliapappas.co/
• The Parenting Presence podcast – https://juliapappas.co/podcast/

Don’t forget to subscribe:

• chataboutchildren.com/itunes
• chataboutchildren.com/stitcher
• chataboutchildren.com/tunein
• chataboutchildren.com/google